Understanding Your Limiting Beliefs
Who do you believe you are? Are you successful? Smart? Capable? Or do you think of yourself in negative ways, especially when you make a mistake? These negative thoughts can show us what we truly think of ourselves. They come out when we’re upset, tired, or scared. These thoughts are called limiting beliefs.
Question Your Beliefs
So, how do you move past these limiting beliefs? Start by questioning them. Did you know that a lot of what we believe about ourselves is based on what we learned when we were kids? For example, when we’re kids, we’re told not to talk to strangers. As adults, that’s not really helpful advice. We need to talk to strangers to find jobs, make friends, or even go on dates.
Focus on Positives
Our brains are designed to help us survive. If we focus on the negatives, our brains will keep showing us more negatives. It’s like when you buy a new car and suddenly you see it everywhere. That’s your brain focusing on what you think about. Some people seem to have all the luck, while others seem to be always unlucky. It’s not really about luck though. It’s about what we focus on.
Overcome the Fear of Rejection
One of the things that holds us back is the fear of being rejected. It’s an old survival instinct. Long ago, being rejected by your tribe could mean death. But today, that fear is usually not helpful.
Reduce Your Worries
And then there’s worrying. Worrying too much is a waste of time and energy. We can’t plan for everything. Often, the thing we worry about the most never even happens. As Mark Twain once said, “I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”
Stop Beating Yourself Up
The last thing to remember is to stop being hard on yourself when you make mistakes. It doesn’t help. Learn from the mistake and then move on. While I disagree with Coach Bobby Knight’s chair-throwing antics and other anger, fear-fueled tactics, I did appreciate what I saw during a practice. A kid made a mistake and made a turnover. The kid put his head down in shame (probably expecting to get yelled at) and tapped his chest saying, “My bad.”
Knight said, “Stop that! We know whose fault it is! Now get on defense.” Just get back to work.
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